Lights, Camera, Action!
by reasonswhy77
Summary: Black Ghost is making a new video to advertise to the Warlords of the world. What he hadn't counted on was his crazy staff mixing things up and completely throwing him off balance.


_Hello to my readers who have missed me, or the readers who are new to reading my work. I'm back! I had a long break and have decided to take up writing again, for better or for worse. I've also decided to try my hand at another comedy so I hope you enjoy._

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Black Ghost strode casually down the hallway of his military base, eyeing the passers by that scrambled to get out of his way. He smirked to himself in satisfaction at their panic. His organization was thriving. Throwing his shoulders back, he slowed his walk to a confident swagger as he grinned wickedly at his terrified employees. Finally, he reached his destination and pushed the door open. People were scurrying about at a rapid pace preparing the upcoming task.

"Black Ghost sir!" a man with slicked back hair and unremarkable clothing stopped in his tracks to address his boss. He held a clipboard and peered down at the many papers clamped on it. He rifled through them quickly, shaking his head and sighing. "You're _late_." Black Ghost blinked in surprise. Who was this…this…human to tell him what's what?

"Excuse me?"

"You're L-A-T-E late!" the man exclaimed sighing again. He abruptly strode up to Black Ghost, turning him around and giving him a sharp push in the direction of a small director's chair. "Just sit there and stay out of the way while we fix everything up."

"Now you listen to me!! I came here to speak by camera to the warlords and dictators!! Who are you to push me around! I'm the one who gives orders around here! Now I-" Black Ghost ceased his angry rant when the man held up a hand to stop him, rolling his eyes.

"_Yes _sir I know…just _please _go to the chair and sit for me 'kay?" Black Ghost found himself doing as the man asked, walking over to the chair and sitting down obediently. The man nodded with satisfaction, hurrying off to talk to a pretty blonde woman holding a blush brush in her hand. Black Ghost sighed in boredom as the minutes past by quickly. He watched as the camera men loaded film into their large black boxes that they called cameras. Soon enough, the blonde woman sauntered over to him and waved the brush at him as she spoke.

"You ready for your makeup job?"

"My WHAT?"

"Makeup…like duh!?" Black Ghost blinked in surprise at her words.

"Why ever would I do such a thing? I'm not a woman!"

"Yes I know, but you won't look as…well you'll look better trust me." Without another word, she seized him by the wrist and pulled him along towards a mirror with fat, bright light bulbs around it. A dull scraping noise distracted him from their destination. Looking around, Black Ghost saw that he was dragging the director's chair behind him as he strode awkwardly behind the blonde woman.

"I um…I'm stuck." The woman stopped in her tracks, causing him to run into her. He fell backwards, the chair catching him. The woman eyed him up and down assessing the new accessory to his derriere.

"And?"

"And what? I don't want to be stuck in this rickety chair!!" Black Ghost glared at her. She sighed and placed her hands on her hips.

"You'll need to sit down anyway so just deal with it?" With that she walked behind him and pushed him all the way up to the dazzling mirror.

"AAAHH!!! Are you trying to blind me you wicked woman!?" The woman just shook her head as she assaulted his face with various tools and brushes. Black Ghost just complained all the louder.

"Will you hold still!!!" The woman skillfully marked his face one last time. "HAH! Finished. Gosh you're such a wimp." NEVER in his entire LIFE hand anyone spoken to him in this manner.

"Who are YOU to tell me that I'm-"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah Scarly. Whatever." Black Ghost stared at her with his mouth open.

"S-Scarly?..."

"Eeeyah!! That's what I said…like are you deaf or somethin'?" the blonde woman said, rolling her eyes for the billionth time. Black Ghost jumped to his feet, chair and all, and seized her by the hair. "AH!! Let go of me you weirdo!"

"I'll teach you some proper respect!" he roared. Just as he said this, the man with the clipboard rushed over and thwacked him over the head with it.

"WILL you _please _behave!!?" Black Ghost abruptly released the girl and began rubbing his head, staring at the man incredulously. "Now then, we're all set for the meeting with the buyers' sir. Come this way please." Before they left the mirror the man reached over and plucked the chair from Scarl's rear, then grabbed him by the back of his cloak and dragged him to the set. Black Ghost sighed with relief as he was directed to sit on a plush red sofa. "Alright, just read the words that come up on THIS screen and you'll be fine." the man said, gesturing to a wide monitor in front of Black Ghost.

"But I-"

"We start in 5, 4, 3, 2, and 1!" Black Ghost frantically fixed his eyes on the monitor in front of him.

"Good evening gentlemen. I am pleased to say that my organization has many new products to aid in your affaires." He glanced over at the man with the clipboard, who gave him a thumbs up. Black Ghost couldn't help but grin. He continued on with his prattle about weapons and what-not, and soon many of the employees were snoozing, a result of their boredom. Black Ghost, however, was oblivious and happily repeated what the monitor told him to say. But, as his luck would have it, not everything was going according to plan. He began to sink into the comfy red sofa as he spoke. He struggled to sit up, still trying to focus on the scrolling words which began to move faster…Black Ghost motioned frantically at the man with the clipboard who rolled his eyes at him and shrugged helplessly. All that Black Ghost could do was resign himself to sink into the sofa and attempt to keep up with the monitor.

"And that gentlemen, is the end of my newest line. I hope I have peeked your interest and I look forward to hearing from you in the near future."

"Aaaaaaaand CUT!" clipboard man exclaimed. "Great, great, GREAT! Now, I will contact you when you have another video to make and pleeeease try not to make a fool of yourself on screen. It doesn't look good when you let a sofa of all things swallow half your body." Black Ghost could hardly believe what he was hearing. Such arrogance…such disrespect…such insubordination…Those were only supposed to be HIS traits!

"Why you little…" Black Ghost seized the man's clipboard and broke it in half, throwing them to the floor at the man's feet. The man only sighed and snapped his fingers. The makeup girl appeared immediately and handed him another.

"No sense in throwing little tantrums Scarly." The man said with a shake of his head.

"WHY are you calling me that!? Scarly!?" Black Ghost roared.

"Ok, ok, ok…_Black Ghost __**sir**_." The man's voice was oozing with sarcasm. "Now," he began, glancing at the paper on the top of the new clipboard, "We have another video scheduled for you in about two months so until then…" He shooed Black Ghost away with his hand, not bothering to glance up from the clipboard. He turned and walked off to speak with the camera man, leaving the makeup girl behind with Black Ghost.

"How do I get this atrocious makeup off of my face?" He glared at her. She only shrugged.

"Like, soap and water? Duh…" She flounced away to her blazing mirror and began putting away the various pots and brushes. Black Ghost stared after her, dumbfounded. He abruptly turned on his heel and stomped out of the room, no one even gave him a second glance. He slammed the door as hard as he could, muttering to himself about defiance and how he should teach them a lesson or two…

* * *

The Clipboard man watched as the door smashed into its frame. He hurried over to it and pressed his ear against the wood, listening to Scarl's angry retreating footsteps.

"Ok guys he's gone!" Joe tossed the clipboard away and moved to the mirror. He ran his hands through his hair to get rid of the slicked back look. Francoise carefully inserted her headband back on her head and smiled at him.

"He had no idea…I thought he would catch it for sure." The camera man, 004, made his way over to them clutching a black tape.

"What do you think guys? Is this internet material?"

"Nah," said Joe, "No one will know who he is."

"So? They'll just think he's some nut in a black costume and blush on his cheeks." He winked at Francoise. "Nice work by the way. He looked very prissy." She curtsied in appreciation, as Joe smiled affectionately at her.

"I didn't doubt her for a second. Remember when she put Jet in a dress?" The three of them snickered as Jet himself wandered over to them.

"What's so funny?" They stopped laughing for a moment, and looked at him. They began laughing all the harder. 003 managed to choke out,

"D-dress…" Jet scowled.

"Not THAT again!" Their laughter eventually died down and they all made their way over to the rest of the group.

"Nice work guys." 007 grinned. "Just my kind of work I dare say. I'll make actors out of you yet!"

"We should definitely do this again." 008 said. 005 shrugged as he carefully cradled a snoozing 001. 006 stood beside him, looking up at the infant.

"I can't wait until he wakes up. He's really going to love this tape!" he said excitedly, clapping his hands together. 004 shook the tape in the air.

"I'm definitely making copies of this."

"Ok we'd better go." 009 said. They quickly moved the mirror away from the wall, revealing a secret door. Everyone hurried through it and out into the evening air. Soon they located where they had left the Dolphin and soared away into the sky.

* * *

"AHHH!!!" Black Ghost yelped. He clutched a bar of soap as he stood over a bathroom sink. "This stuff should be DESTROYED!!!!" He began again to wash is face but only succeeded in getting soap in his eyes once more. "This will by my new punishment!! Any disobedient employee will be forced to wear makeup!!" At this, the soap slipped out of his grasp and fell to the floor. Black Ghost, temporarily blinded, stooped and felt around for it. Unable to find it with soap in his eyes, he decided to wash his eyes first. When his vision was once again clear, he grabbed a towel and wiped his face. He looked in the mirror to see the makeup smeared all over. "GAH!" He threw the wet towel on the ground and turned to get another from the cabinet. Unfortunately the towel hand landed over the bar of soap, concealing it from vision. He consequently slipped and slid across the floor and into the bathtub. "I will NEVER make another video as long as I live!"

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_Thanks for reading guys. I hope to hear from you._

_-Rw77_


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